I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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