Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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