So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
