I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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