Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
