Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
