But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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