Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
