OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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