oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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