Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
