She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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