I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
