Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
