I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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