So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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