I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
