Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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