im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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