yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
