no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
my nose is crying tears of wow.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
