Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You may now shotgun with the bride
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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