Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
