Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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