stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
last night I used snow as a chaser
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
