i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
