you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
