You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize