its not stalking. its research.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
