SEEEEXXX PLEASE
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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