No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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