"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
