New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
