Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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