You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i don't like sucking hair
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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