You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
