Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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