U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize