I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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