is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
