so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
