Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
