I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
