yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Two words: nipple clamps
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