pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i now understand why vodka
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
