So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
