from now on my penis is your penis
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
