with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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