i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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