Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Randomize
