Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
