Ambien. No doubt about it.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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