Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101

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(636): View more from Missouri

you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.

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(585): View more from New York

you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated

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(661): View more from California

Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil

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(817): View more from Texas

did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.

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(845): View more from New York

From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.

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(858): View more from California

My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.

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