Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
