I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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