4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
