? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize