I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
