So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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