If i come over, it means nothing
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
