dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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